Does Marriage Counseling Work?

It is common if we are experiencing difficulties in our marriage to wonder if we should try marriage counseling but does marriage counseling work?

To answer this we would first have to ask how we judge what successful marriage counseling is. The obvious answer is that the marriage survives and hopefully becomes stronger. In some ways though any resolution of the current problem, even if that means the end of the marriage, can be considered a success. For this article though our assumption will be that successful marriage counseling will result in the marriage or relationship being saved.

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The success of any counseling will depend on a number of factors – hopefully the following will help you work out if marriage counseling is for you. Before starting counseling you may wish to consider the following:

Are you and your partner still in love?

You may find it difficult to answer this question just now as you may not know exactly what you or your partner is feeling. In that case the following may be easier to answer.

Why are you considering marriage counseling?

Ideally you will have a sincere desire to save your relationship and build a stronger marriage. It will be very difficult for marriage counseling to work if either partner is not interested in saving the marriage. If your partner only agrees to attend counseling sessions to avoid arguments with you then the chances of it being successful are low. Save My Marriage Today may be a better option for you just now as it can help improve your marriage even if your partner is not committed to working with you just now.

Marriage counseling can also sometimes be used as a way of getting permission to separate and divorce. If a partner has already decided that the marriage is over and is only attending so that they feel justified in ending the relationship then obviously the chances of success are limited.

Before beginning marriage counseling you will therefore have to try to discuss both you and your partner’s reasons for wanting to see a marriage counselor. A major difficulty here is that you and your partner are probably not communicating that effectively at this time. It will take some work and discipline to allow you to openly discuss your feelings at this time.

Do you and your partner share the same religious faith?

This will probably only be a major issue if you are planning on seeing a faith based marriage counselor. Many churches organize marriage counseling sessions but this may not be suitable for you if either partner has different religious beliefs.

Do you feel comfortable speaking to your counselor?

If you are not used to counseling sessions you may find it very difficult to be open with a stranger, especially given the personal nature of what you will have to discuss. Expressing yourself honestly with your partner present will also not always be easy. One of the difficulties here is that a lot relies on how at ease both you and your partner feel with your counselor.

Considering the above points will increase the chances of marriage counseling working for you and your partner. Unfortunately there can be no guarantees and the chance of success will vary according to your individual relationship and the work that you and your partner are prepated to put into your marriage. Preparing yourself for marriage counseling will not only increase its effectiveness but will also save money as less sessions will be required.

It is for this reason that I recommend Save The Marriage. This book, which you can download today, provides great strategies and tips to help you save your marriage. It was written by a qualified marriage counselor and is an affordable method of starting the process of saving and improving your marriage.